In a disturbing article in today’s Washington Post, writer Christine Whelan, describes the death of three and injury of more than a dozen others who participated in a self help “Spiritual Warrior” retreat facilitated by James Arthur Ray.

Now, I’m a big fan of self help and have been reading on the subject for years from numerous “gurus” and I’ve even attended a retreat or two or three in search of self actualization or, at least, a path to a happy and fulfilled life.  I don’t think I’m alone on this quest. I see hundreds of others at these retreats and I see hundreds of books in the aisles of bookstores that promise everything from untold riches and personal wealth to unlimited robust health.

Many of the gurus are charming, charismatic and seem to make sense.  What I am coming to understand is that what a lot of these folks are selling is hope — the hope that we can break out of our humdrum, everyday existence of working at a job we’re not thrilled with, coming home to stress and worry and bills, grabbing some sleep after vegging in front of the TV for awhile….rinse and repeat.  In the meantime, we fill their financial coffers with our own money in the hope that their success will rub off on us.

Personal Responsibility vs Peer Pressure

What really struck me about this article was that James Arthur Ray posted himself by the only exit from the sweat lodge where people died.  There were others in the sweat lodge going through the same process.  The goal was to come out after the sweat lodge process cleansed and renewed and, possibly, empowered with a new paradigm that you can withstand great challenges.

But what about our personal responsibility to ourselves and to our family to survive and live? Or to suggest to the guru that, perhaps, he has a responsibility to those who have placed their trust and physical well being with him.

My guess is that peer pressure trumped personal responsibility and good sense. Most of us don’t like to stand against our peers.  We especially don’t like to stand against gurus or leaders in the presence of our peers who may take a dim view of our position. It is the rare individual who will forge their own path and make choices that, on the face of it, go against the grain.  Yet, isn’t that a bit what personal responsibility is all about?

I don’t have the answers. I wish I did.  I have some thoughts about stuff like this.  After all, I’ve been looking at it and reading about it for a long time.  Been there, done that, got the CDs, DVDs, workbooks and retreat tickets.  Yep. Thoughts but no answers.

It’s just a damn shame people have to die in the search.